Scamology 105: Manipulation Tactics in Military Impersonation/Romance Scams
Understanding How Scammers Hijack Emotions to Control and Defraud
Online scammers don’t just steal photos—they steal trust.
In this Scamology 105 series, we break down the exact psychological tactics used by impersonators—especially those posing as Ukrainian military personnel—to build false relationships, gain emotional control, and extract money or personal information.
Each tactic is based on real case data and psychological research, adapted to the most common patterns we see in military romance scams.
✅ Identity Hijacking
(Impersonation in Cybercrime & Fraud – Europol, IOCTA Reports)
What It Means:
Identity hijacking is when someone steals another person’s identity to appear credible. In scams, this is often done by using stolen photos, names, and military ranks to trick targets into trusting them.
How Scammers Use It in Soldier Impersonation Scams:
Scammers hijack real soldiers’ identities to make their lies believable. They might:
💬 Use stolen photos of actual military personnel.
💬 Claim to have a high rank ("I’m a general in a classified mission.").
💬 Show fake military IDs to “prove” their identity.
💬 Pretend to be well-known soldiers—sometimes even using real names of deployed officers.
By impersonating real service members, scammers bypass suspicion and gain instant credibility.
🚨 Stay Safe:
Military personnel do not randomly message strangers online.
Look for inconsistencies in their story. Scammers often make mistakes about rank, base locations, or military procedures.
If someone sends a “military ID,” reverse search the image. Scammers recycle the same stolen documents.
✅ Love bombing
(Idealization Phase in Narcissistic Abuse – Stern, 2018)
What It Means:
Love bombing is when someone overwhelms you with excessive affection, flattery, and promises to make you feel special. The goal is to create an instant emotional connection so you trust them completely.
How Scammers Use It in Soldier Impersonation Scams:
Scammers posing as soldiers will:
💬 Shower you with romantic messages almost immediately.
💬 Call you their “soulmate” or “one true love” before even knowing you.
💬 Claim they’ve never met anyone like you and that you’re “different.”
💬 Message you constantly, making you feel important and wanted.
At first, it feels exciting—but it’s a setup. Once they have your trust, they will start making requests.
🚨 Stay Safe:
Real love takes time. If someone is declaring their love within days, be cautious.
Watch for patterns. Scammers use the same affectionate phrases with multiple targets.
Slow things down. If someone is pushing for fast emotional commitment, it’s a red flag.
✅ Future Faking
(False Promises as Commitment Manipulation – Durvasula, 2019)
What It Means:
Future faking is when someone makes big promises about the future to gain your trust, knowing they will never follow through. It’s a way to keep you emotionally invested in a relationship that doesn’t exist.
How Scammers Use It in Soldier Impersonation Scams:
Scammers pretending to be soldiers will:
💬 Say they are planning a future with you ("As soon as I retire, we’ll be together.")
💬 Talk about marriage, moving in together, or traveling to meet you.
💬 Claim they are sending you a special gift to show their love (but then ask for money to release it).
💬 Keep making excuses for why they can’t meet yet, but promise they will “soon.”
Each promise is designed to keep you hooked and delay your doubts.
🚨 Stay Safe:
Actions matter more than words. If they keep making promises but never follow through, it’s a red flag.
Scammers always have an excuse. They’ll claim they’re delayed by military duties, travel restrictions, or emergencies.
Be wary of long-distance relationships that move too fast. If they haven’t met you but are making big life plans, step back and assess.
✅ Emotional Blackmail
(Fear, Obligation, and Guilt Manipulation – Forward, 1997)
What It Means:
Emotional blackmail happens when someone uses guilt, fear, or obligation to pressure you into doing what they want. Unlike guilt-tripping, which is more subtle, emotional blackmail involves clear threats or consequences if you don’t comply.
How Scammers Use It in Soldier Impersonation Scams:
Scammers create emotional pressure to manipulate you. They might say:
💬 "If you don’t help me, I don’t know what will happen to me."
💬 "I’m risking my life every day, and you won’t even help me?"
💬 "I thought you loved me. Was I wrong?"
💬 "If you abandon me, you’ll have my blood on your hands."
They want to make you feel responsible for their well-being, even though their entire story is fake.
🚨 Stay Safe:
Genuine relationships don’t use fear or guilt to force decisions.
If someone pressures you by saying something bad will happen, step back.
Scammers create fake emergencies to manipulate emotions—don’t fall for it.
✅ Gaslighting
(Psychological Manipulation to Induce Self-Doubt – Sweet, 2019)
What It Means:
Gaslighting is when someone makes you question your own memory, judgment, or perception of reality. It’s a tactic used to confuse and control you, making it harder to trust your instincts.
How Scammers Use It in Soldier Impersonation Scams:
Scammers use gaslighting to make their targets doubt red flags. They might say:
💬 "I never asked for money—you must be remembering wrong."
💬 "You’re just being paranoid. Why don’t you trust me?"
💬 "I never said that. You’re twisting my words."
💬 "Everyone else trusts me. Why are you the only one doubting?"
By denying, deflecting, and twisting facts, they make you feel like you are the problem, when in reality, they are deceiving you.
🚨 Stay Safe:
Trust your instincts. If something feels off, don’t let them convince you otherwise.
Keep screenshots. If someone keeps changing their story, having proof helps you see the manipulation.
People who are honest won’t get defensive when asked reasonable questions.
✅ Isolation Tactics
(Coercive Control & Social Isolation – Stark, 2007)
What It Means:
Isolation tactics are used to separate a target from friends, family, and outside sources of information. Scammers do this to gain total control over the conversation, making it harder for you to get a second opinion.
How Scammers Use It in Soldier Impersonation Scams:
Scammers try to cut you off from people who might warn you. They might say:
💬 "Your friends don’t understand what we have."
💬 "Your family is just jealous and trying to ruin our love."
💬 "Let’s keep our love private—others wouldn’t understand."
💬 "Facebook is too public. Let’s move to Telegram/WhatsApp so we can talk freely."
💬 "Twitter isn’t safe. Let’s move to Signal."
📢 Why the Platform Switch?
Scammers often pressure targets to switch to Telegram, WhatsApp, or Signal. These apps:
✔ Make it harder to trace them.
✔ Allow them to delete messages easily.
✔ Stop friends from seeing red flags in public posts.
🚨 Stay Safe:
If someone pushes you to leave a public platform, it’s a red flag.
Don’t let someone convince you to ignore family and friends.
Real relationships don’t demand secrecy.
✅ Urgency Manipulation
(Time Pressure Compliance Effect – Cialdini, 2001)
What It Means:
Urgency manipulation happens when someone pressures you to make a quick decision by creating a fake emergency. They want you to act before you have time to think.
How Scammers Use It in Soldier Impersonation Scams:
Scammers create artificial time pressure to stop you from questioning their story. They might say:
💬 "I need help NOW, or I’ll lose everything!"
💬 "If you don’t send money today, I won’t be able to eat."
💬 "There’s only one way to save me, but you have to act fast!"
💬 "I’m in danger, and if you don’t help right now, it will be too late!"
They count on panic to make you rush into sending money before realizing it's a scam.
🚨 Stay Safe:
Scammers want you to react emotionally, not logically.
Real emergencies don’t require instant action from strangers.
If someone online is pushing you to act immediately, pause and verify.
✅ Scarcity Manipulation
(Perceived Scarcity as Persuasion – Cialdini, 2001)
What It Means:
Scarcity manipulation is when someone makes something seem rare or limited to pressure you into making a quick decision. It plays on the fear of missing out (FOMO) and makes people act impulsively.
How Scammers Use It in Soldier Impersonation Scams:
Scammers pretend that their love, attention, or an opportunity is rare. They might say:
💬 "I could be with anyone, but I chose you. Don't let me down."
💬 "I have so many admirers, but you’re the one I trust."
💬 "There’s only a short window for me to leave the military—help me now!"
💬 "This is your only chance to help me escape!"
By making you feel like you’ll lose something special, scammers pressure you into acting before thinking.
🚨 Stay Safe:
Love and trust aren’t “limited offers.”
Real relationships don’t have expiration dates.
If someone is pushing you to act because of “time running out,” step back and reassess.
✅ Authority Manipulation
(Obedience to Authority Effect – Milgram, 1963)
What It Means:
Authority manipulation happens when someone pretends to be an important or powerful figure to gain your trust. People are more likely to comply when they believe a request is coming from someone with status or expertise.
How Scammers Use It in Soldier Impersonation Scams:
Scammers fake high-ranking military roles to make their stories seem believable and pressure targets into compliance. They might say:
💬 "I am a commander with many soldiers under my command."
💬 "I have important duties, and I don’t have time for games."
💬 "As a high-ranking officer, I can’t access my own money while deployed."
💬 "I am handling classified missions, so I need you to be discreet."
They use fake authority to make you feel obligated to help them and to discourage you from questioning their requests.
🚨 Stay Safe:
Real military officers don’t need strangers to handle their finances.
Rank doesn’t make someone trustworthy—watch for inconsistencies.
If someone tries to pressure you by flaunting their status, be skeptical.
✅ Fake Evidence
(Influence of Perceived Popularity – Cialdini, 2001)
What It Means:
Social proof manipulation is when someone creates fake "evidence" to seem trustworthy. People are more likely to believe something if they think others already trust it.
How Scammers Use It in Soldier Impersonation Scams:
Scammers fabricate proof to appear legitimate. They might:
💬 Send fake military ID cards or deployment papers.
💬 Show photos of medals, certificates, or awards.
💬 Claim they have high social status ("Look at my many followers and likes").
💬 Create fake testimonials from "happy" friends, family, or fellow soldiers.
These fake documents and fake endorsements are designed to make you ignore your doubts and believe the scam.
🚨 Stay Safe:
Scammers steal real military photos to create fake IDs—don’t trust pictures alone.
Official military documents are never shared randomly online.
If something looks too perfect, search for reverse image matches or inconsistencies.
✅ Foot-in-the-Door Technique
(Incremental Compliance Strategy – Freedman & Fraser, 1966)
What It Means:
The foot-in-the-door technique is when someone gets you to agree to a small request first before slowly increasing their demands. Once you’ve said yes to something minor, it becomes harder to say no to bigger requests.
How Scammers Use It in Soldier Impersonation Scams:
Scammers start small before making larger financial demands. They might say:
💬 "Can you send me a $25 gift card to help with small expenses?" → Later, they ask for thousands in “emergency fees.”
💬 "Just message my ‘lawyer’ so he can explain the situation." → Suddenly, you’re pressured to send legal fees.
💬 "I only need $50 for food." → A week later, they need money for plane tickets.
Each step is designed to build trust and make bigger requests seem reasonable over time.
🚨 Stay Safe:
Small requests lead to bigger traps. If someone starts asking for tiny favors, be cautious.
Scammers test your limits. The first request is just to see if you’ll comply.
You don’t owe anyone more just because you said yes before.
✅Pity Play & Guilt-Tripping
(Emotional Fraud via Victimhood & Shame – FBI, Romance Scam Reports & Baumeister et al., 1994)
What It Means:
A pity play happens when someone tells a heartbreaking story to make you feel sorry for them. A guilt trip goes a step further—making you feel like a bad person if you don’t help. Both tactics are designed to emotionally pressure you into compliance.
How Scammers Use It in Soldier Impersonation Scams:
Scammers invent tragic stories to gain sympathy and guilt targets into sending money. They might say:
💬 "I lost my entire family in a bombing—you're all I have." (Pity Play)
💬 "I’m a widowed father, and my child is suffering without me." (Pity Play)
💬 "I thought you cared about me, but I guess I was wrong." (Guilt-Tripping)
💬 "After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you treat me?" (Guilt-Tripping)
Once they’ve gained your sympathy or made you feel guilty, they slowly introduce financial requests.
🚨 Stay Safe:
Scammers manipulate emotions—verify their stories before acting.
Real soldiers don’t rely on strangers for survival.
If someone makes you feel like their well-being is your responsibility, take a step back.
✅ Mirroring
(Social Transmission of Emotions – Hatfield et al., 1993)
What It Means:
Emotional contagion is when someone mirrors your emotions to influence your reactions. It happens naturally in human interactions, but scammers use it as a tool to manipulate you.
How Scammers Use It in Soldier Impersonation Scams:
Scammers copy your emotional state to build trust and control your responses. They might:
💬 Match your excitement when you express happiness ("I’ve never felt this way before either!").
💬 Act heartbroken if you start doubting them ("I can’t believe you think I’m lying.").
💬 Get angry or upset if you question them ("You’re hurting me by not trusting me!").
💬 Use sadness to guilt you ("I feel so alone and lost without your support.").
By mirroring your feelings, they create an emotional bond that makes you more likely to comply with their requests.
🚨 Stay Safe:
Emotional mirroring should happen naturally, not instantly.
Scammers switch emotions fast to manipulate you—watch for sudden mood changes.
If someone online always seems to “feel exactly what you feel,” be cautious.
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